Southernness

SOUTHERN WOMEN Southern women appreciate their natural assets:Clean skin.A winning smile.That unforgettable Southern drawl.Southern women know their manners:"Yes, ma'am.""Yes, sir.""Why, no, Billy!"Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :"Y'all come back!""Well, bless your heart.""Drop by when you can.""How's your Momma?"Southern women know their summer weather report:HumidityHumidityHumiditySouthern women know their vacation spots:The beachThe rivuhThe crickSouthern women know the joys of June, July, and August:Colorful hi-heel sandalsStrapless sun dressesIced sweet tea with mintSouthern women know everybody's first name:HoneyDarlin'ShugahSouthern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:Fried Green TomatoesDriving Miss DaisySteel MagnoliasGone With The WindSouthern women know their religions:BaptistMethodistFootballSouthern women know their country breakfasts:Red-eye gravyGritsEggsCountry hamMouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jellySouthern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:Chawl'stn
S'vanahFoat WuthN'awlinsAddlannaSouthern women know their elegant gentlemen:Men in uniform.Men in tuxedosRhett ButlerSouthern girls know their prime real estate:The MallThe Country ClubThe Beauty SalonSouthern girls know the 3 deadly sins:Having bad hair and nailsHaving bad mannersCooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and aconniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them._____Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."_____Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of"yonder."_____Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."_____Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table._____All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well._____Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!_____Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20._____Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and Po white trash._____No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn._____A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb._____Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!_____Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage._____In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural._____Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them._____Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food._____When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!_____Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk._____And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way._____To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!_____And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!_____And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.We know you got here as fast as you could